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Official Cwmbran Angling Association

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Tee Hee Hee!



Q: How do you communicate with a fish?

A: Drop it a line!

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Q: What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall ?

A: "Dam!"

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Q: Whats the richest fish in the world ?

A: A Goldfish !

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Someone once said - " Fishing is not a matter life or death " - " Its more important than that ".

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What is an eel’s favourite dance?
The conger


What do you call a fish without an eye?
A fsh


Why didn’t the prawn share his toys?
He was a little shellfish


What fish is a serial killer?
Jack the Kipper


What do you call a male flatfish ?
Ray


Why did the fish blush?
Because the sea weed


Man: Is this river any good for fish?
Fisherman: It must be. I can’t get any of them to leave it


Why is a fish easy to weigh?…Because it has its own scales


I only fish on days that end in “Y”


Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish


Why did the fish blush again ?

Because he saw the boat’s bottom


There was a big fight at the seafood restaurant. Three fish got battered


What kind of money do fishermen make?
Net profits


Why do fish like worms?
Because they’re hooked on them


What side of a fish has the most scales?
The outside


What TV game show do fish like best?
Name that tuna


Where do fish wash?
In a river basin


How do you stop a fish from smelling?

Cut off its nose


 A reel expert can tackle anything.


A woman who has never seen her husband fishing, doesn’t know what a patient man she married !

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Born to Fish…Forced to Work!

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FISH - an animal that grows the fastest between the time it’s caught and the time the fisherman describes it to his friends.

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Fishy, fishy in the brook, come and bite my dainty hook.

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I don’t exaggerate I just remember BIG !


Old fishermen never die, they just smell like they did !


What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
“Your plaice or mine?”



 

Q: Why are fish so smart

A: Because they swim in schools!

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Q: What does the pope eat during lent?

A: Holy mackerel!

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Q: Where does a fish keep his money

A: In the River Bank!
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Q: What is the fastest fish in the water?

A: A motorpike

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Q: Where do fish sleep?

A: In a river bed

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Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: You can't tuna fish.

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Q: Which fish can perform operations?

A: A Sturgeon!

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Q: If fish lived on land, in which country would they live?

A: Finland.

 

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Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.

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Man: What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Boy: I give up
Man: Something catchy!

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Man: What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock?
Boy:  I don’t know. What?
Man: A hook, line and stinker !

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Little Jonhny and his mum were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Johnny proudly dangled it before his mom.

“No, son, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.”

“It’s not?” Johnny asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”

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Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Why? Because Robin ate all the worms!

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Man: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
Boy: Don't Know - Why?
Man: He only had two worms.

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Bailiff : Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
Boy : I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!

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 A monastery is in financial trouble, so it goes into the fish-and-chips business to raise money. One night a customer knocks on its door. A monk answers. The customer asks, “Are you the fish friar?”

No he replied “ I'm the Chipmonk”


What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can’t refuse? - The Codfather


What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird’s leg and a hand?…

Birdsthigh fish fingers


Where do fish sleep?
In a river bed


Where did Noah keep his fish?
A multi-storey carp ark


Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna


What fish do you need when it freezes?
 A Skate


What is the fastest fish in the sea?
The one that got away


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" Im telling you the truth - It was THAT BIG, when I got it out ......
 the water level dropped ! "
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